That June june 6, 2001 1:54am

Six hours till my cab gets here. Why si he all I can think about? Danny michel isn't helping right now...Elgin Ave, he sang it to me that night. God why does this boy do this to me. Are the next 3 weeks going to be like this cause I can't do it if they are. Scared, melt, bones, fake, words always between him and I. An old fashioned to be man. He's tried so hard and I love him for it. Will he miss me? I hope so. He cares about me and taht feels so good. I can't believe how much that song melt is so me and him. The whole part about not moving for 2 cd's...and hig guitar etc.  I'm consumed and there is so much more I want to explore. Who can I go? How can't I? What will it make him realize if anything? And most of all will what he realizes be what I want to hear? Or will I realize something I never expected. do i just take our relationship for granted. Will I come back not missing him or will he be the first person I call? What will happen when I'm home? I'm such a different person when i'm here in toronto. I don't like who i used to be..and somedays I don't like me now. I hate that because it makes it so hard to me to understand how anyone could love me.